"Breast is best"
I can't tell you how much I can't stand that saying. I don't like using the word hate, but I hate that phrase. Breast is best FOR YOU. Breast isn't best for all. I breast feed, and have breastfed all my babies. I didn't get to breastfeed Kylie as long as I wanted to. If you would have come up to me and said breast is best, it would have broken my spirt. I had planned on breastfeeding my Kylie for at least a year. Well, like many I didn't get to do that. I had to go back to work and not long after returning to work I lost my supply. I didn't have time to pump at work and I didn't feel comfortable asking. I started supplementing while I was at work due to the fact I didn't get to pump. Once I realized that I no longer could feed her, I was crushed. My baby girl who needed me, no longer did. I could leave and never come back and she would be perfectly fine. That little baby who solely depended on me, didn't anymore. Every time I watched her eat a bottle it took a little bit of me with it.
Now if said person would to have told me "breast is best" what do you think that would have done to me? I'm my biggest critic. I don't need someone to do it for me. Let me tell you, I have that section covered. I recently asked a group of ladies a set of questions about breast feeding/ bottle. I laughed so hard at some stories, so sweet and funny. I also cried, my heart ached for many of these moms. So many felt/feel like failures. Some who desperately wanted to breast feed and due to medical issues could not. Some who didn't feel comfortable with breastfeeding and felt like others looked at them as if they loved their babies less. If you ever want to hurt or anger a mommy, insult their love for their babies.
I understand that breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed our babies. I understand that you are trying to educate and bring awareness to the world. I'm all for the normalization of breast feeding. I will feed my baby wherever I want, whenever she wants. But you will not catch me saying breast is best. That is a judgment I will not put on someone. That's a pain I will not put on someone's heart. We all want the best for our babies! You do not know everyone's story. You do not know if they chose this route or if it was chosen for them. You just don't know!
All of us mommies out their remember how crazy it was right after having our babies. It's stressful, emotional, chaotic, and draining. You just had a baby, a human being just came out of you. You are tired and scared. People you don't know are all in your personal space. This is all so new and foreign to you. You have to choose which route you are going to take, now. Some don't get to choose but for those who do, it's now or never. If you choose to not breastfeed there is no going back. That's not fair. It's not fair to criticize someone for making a choice that was so difficult in such a stressful environment. Every person's situation is different. Every baby is different. Just because you were successful in breastfeeding doesn't mean every mom will be. Just because your baby took to breastfeeding with ease, doesn't mean all babies will.
I dont know about you but my hormones are crazy after having a baby. My mind is all over the place. I get very little uninterrupted sleep. My days are filled with sweet little voices that are always needing something. My life is no longer about me. Every breathing moment is my children. Please don't insult my life with your judgemental saying "breast is best" please do not assume that because I breast feed that I feel the same as you. Please do not group me into that sanctimom category. I do not think I'm better than anyone. I know I'm human and imperfect. I made a decision that I felt was best for my family and I. I feel that breastfeeding is the best for my family.
We are here to love and support. Why try to tear eachother down? Who is it benefiting? Not our children, I can tell you that! How do we expect children to grow up happy, if we are so negative? Do you think you are helping that child by tearing their mother down? You expect her to raise her children to be strong and confident even though you are trying to take her straight and confidence away from her. Stop!!! I beg you, stop! Breast is best for you, not for all.
Here's a few quotes from the stories I had the honor to read.
"I did both Breast and Bottle. I didn't really get to choose the route we took. I tried very hard to breastfeed. My daughter would latch and nurse for hours at a time only to scream in frustration because she was still hungry. We were even at the point of using a nipple shield with a feeding tube formula, just so she was continue to latch and we were hoping it would signal my body to produce more milk. I would even pump between nursing to try to get my supply up. It didn't work though, and after 8 weeks of having something attached to me, I gave up and we went to bottles."
Jennifer Gill
"I guess my bad experience would have to be the medical condition I have. I have 3 kids. With the first 2 I had no idea I had a problem. My 1st child literally starved and lost 1.5 pounds. I felt HORRIBLE. I was told that I had to supplement and it wasn't an option. I was drinking 100 oz of water a day, drinking mother's milk tea, taking fenugreek and doing everything I could find and think of the be able to b/f. Same with my second child. When I was diagnosed by my Dr. and lactation consultant (finally) I cried. I felt relief and sadness. Relief that I wasn't a horrible failure and less guilt for 'giving up'. Sadness b/c I will never know what it's like to EBF my child."
Amie Clemens
"Ok so I tried breastfeeding but had to stop at two weeks as Sam had Thrush and it literally took all the skin off my nipple area 😞 So after that I bottle fed."
Lani Setser
"I chose breast feeding because it is what everyone in America pushes. You’re made to feel like a horrible person who is poisoning your child if they have a drop of formula. She had only breastmilk for her first 7 months but the pumping got out of control while working and I grew to resent it so much that I started giving her a little formula at 7.5 months."
Isbelle Nunez
"I'm gonna be honest and say that the thought of it reeeeally freaked me out. I was really insecure about it and didn't want to go through the private vs. not private battle (from multiple sources - including myself).
2) are you happy with your decision? If not why? - Relatively. I was sad after a while that I'd missed the opportunity to bond with him that way. But then I realized I was his favorite person regardless, and stopped beating myself up about it. Bottle feeding worked for us, and I don't have any regrets."
Lauren Keyes
"I almost died during birth and had transfusions. Took almost 5 days for milk to come in. I pumped for two weeks but barely could supply an adequate bottle for a day. My daughter had no choice but to use a bottle her first days here."
"Moms should support choices of other mothers for their child. What is right for one is not right for all. There are plenty of sanctimommies everywhere."
Nicole Stamps Vaughn
"My milk never came in so breastfeeding (even though I wanted to) was not an option. "
Marcie Dixon
"I initially wasn't happy with choosing bottle feeding. I wanted to breastfeed so badly and it worked well for a while but then I just couldn't. Baby refused to latch for days, I tried a shield and nothing worked. I pumped and bottle fed her, but then pumping got to be too much and she went on formula."
Sarah Gagnon
"I bottle-fed for the most part, not out of choice but out of necessity. I did not make enough milk for any of my children to live on fully, despite meetings with lactation consultant, medication, oatmeal, everything. It was not a choice, but it was the right thing for us, and to keep my children alive!"
"I was happy to use formula because otherwise my children would've starved. But there was so much awful pressure on me, and complete strangers asking if I was breast-feeding, that I felt completely alienated from mommy circles, and felt terrible all the time. I felt like I wasn't bonding with my children, which ended up not being the situation at all. It wasn't a decision for me, but even if it was, it really is nobody's business, and I think in today's world it's hard to feel OK with it, because there's a lot of stigma against formula feeding, despite so many groups trying to normalize breast-feeding. Which I also agree with, of course."
"Nothing stands out, just complete strangers asking me if I'm breast-feeding, and the shame that goes along with and to answer that, and feel like I have to justify my situation. "
Allyn Spacek
"My second son and I couldn't get rid of a horrible yeast infection that we kept passing back and forth between us. After a month of dreading feeding him and crying every time I did, I decided it would be better for our relationship (and his poor little bum and my poor boobs) if we switched to formula."
Paige Robinson Sommers
"I wanted to breastfeed desperately but had almost no support or knowledge about it. I had an awful LC and just got really frustrated with the whole thing. Being a first time mom was hard enough without wanting to feel like a failure for not being able to BF my baby, so I was able to pump for about 4 weeks and then we did the formula route."
Aravon Jordan
"I tried desperately to breast feed. It was pushed at the hospital that I had my son at but yet they only had one lactation consultant there on the weekend. He was born on a Saturday. I asked for help numerous times and was always taught something different. I didn't see the LC until the day we left the hospital. I wasn't prepared to successfully breastfeed after having a c-section."
"I cried when I wasn't able to breastfeed. I tried so hard. I obsessed over it until I was miserable and finally had to make the decision to offer my son something that isn't the best. Ive been feeling extreme guilt ever since. I didn't want to feed him formula. I feel like a failure in some ways."
Elizabeth Bittinger
