Firefighters, crayons, and bees

Today has been quite a day. I'm exhausted! This morning started off with the girls getting up around 6:30. They were still tired from swimming yesterday. So they woke up cranky. After fighting about who gets to snuggle with mommy, Kylie decided she was hungry. She wanted chips and nothing else. That was not going to happen. We battled for a while over that. She kicked and screamed in her bed until I almost snapped. 

Story time at the library starts at 10:30. We made it there and had a wonderful time. The fire department was a guest speaker. The girls listened to a story and heard about the fire fighters. They showed them all their gear and they even got to go into their truck. Lila got a little scared but ended up going in the truck. After we did our craft we looked for books to checkout. 

We found the super hero that they hide in the library. ( they hide this action figure and if you find it you get a prize) The prize was either a pencil or a pixie stick. Neither of these prizes are appropriate for young children. I chose the pixie stick for them instead of the pencil. All of the sudden it was a potty emergency. Kylie was going to explode! I try to hurry the girls to the bathroom. I'm carrying Ellie in her car seat while trying rush the girls into the bathroom. Lila is in a panic because she was given candy and I haven't opened it yet. She is yelling at me,"I want my candy!" Kylie is yelling," I have to go potty!"

Lila won't walk into the bathroom and is standing in the door way continuing to cry about her candy. "Girls please let me in the door" I end up having to kick Lila into the bathroom. Kylie has now peed her pants and Lila is screaming. I put Kylie on the potty so she can finish going pee. I try to let Lila eat this stupid paper tube of sugar. Trying to teach a 2 year old to eat a pixie stick is ridiculous. She shoves the paper tube in her mouth and the sugar won't come out the wet end. I rip off the wet piece and explain that I will just pour it in her mouth for her. So all you hear from this bathroom stole is," Lila open your mouth and I'll pour it in..... Your getting it wet and it won't come out...... Stand up!!!!! Open your mouth!" She ended up throwing herself on the bathroom floor and was rolling around. I just trew the candy in the trash. I open the bathroom stole and of course there is someone in there with her adorable little girls. Lila is a screaming snotty mess. I explain myself to this woman, thankfully she was very sweet. We proceed to walk out of the bathroom and Lila no longer knows how to walk. I have Ellie in her car seat, her backpack, their books, their craft projects, and their fire fighter hats and now a 2 year old who can't walk. Kylie refuses to carry anything and Lila is screaming," pick me up! Pick me up!"  I struggle to to carry everything out the door. Lila isn't even trying to help hang on to me. She is just dead weight in my arms. We made it home and I realized I never checked out the books, I just took them. 

Everything calmed down. I went upstairs to work on the computer. I'm still trying to transfer all my pictures so I can restore the computer. While I was upstairs I let the girls color in their new coloring books the firefighters gave them. Kylie called for me," momma you have to come see this"

I go downstairs and she point at her nose. I didn't see anything. "Do you need to blow your nose?" She said yes. She complained it hurt. "Theirs something in my nose...." "Well what is it?!" 

She didn't want to tell me. After asking over and over, "it's a crayon" I looked up there and sure enough a blue crayon was shoved way up her nose. I took her into the doctors office and Jason met me there. The doctor tried and tried to get it out but was only pushing it up higher. Her nose started to bleed and they sent her over to the ER. I took the other two home while Jason sat with Kylie. 

When I got home I noticed the water was shut off. Appearently we forgot to pay the bill. I call and guess what, they are now closed! I can't even deal right now. There is no number for after hours either. I call Jason and he stops by there on his way home to see if anyone might still be there. Thankfully there was but the only take check. His check book was at home with me. I pack the girls back in the car, rush around to find the check book and meet him there. 

I get home and sit in my car for a minute. Thankfully this day is coming to an end. Jason pulls in behind me and we get the girls into the house. As I'm walking into the house a bee flies into my hair! I can not make this up. A freaking bee flies into my hair!!! I'm in the kitchen screaming and whipping my hair around. All I can hear is buzzing coming from my hair. I yell for Jason who is walking outside to pee because we have no water. "There is something in my hair! It's buzzing!!! I can hear it! Get it out!" He didn't see it so just started running his fingers extremely violently through my hair. After ripping out enough hair to make a wig he finally got it out. As I'm sitting here I can still feel that stupid bee. Today has been quite a day. 

A memory for the books

After an afternoon of sitting at my mom and stepdad's house watching the girls play, they started to get bored and glued to the TV. So I thought about how I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. She had told me about taking her daughter to the fountains to play. So I thought what a great idea and I could get some really cute pictures. 

So my mom and I packed the girls up in the car and we head down to the streets of Indian lake. The thought of a peaceful afternoon, letting the girls play in the water, sounded so lovely. Well kids are awkward,and mine are really awkward. 

First thing Kylie does is, she goes and she stands directly over the water. So Lila being a little sister copies everything that her big sister does. My children are using the water fountain as their personal bidet. It would've been perfectly fine if they were sitting on the ground on top of the water and giggling about the water coming up between your legs but no, not my children. They weren't only doing that. They were also standing straddling the water and watching the water hit them in between legs. So My mom and I sit there and watch this and giggle. I looked over at my mom and I ask,"my kids are those weird homeschool kids aren't they?" Right then Kylie comes up, "mommy I have to go potty potty potty potty." Before I could figure out a plan on where to take them to the bathroom, she just walks over to the grass and just starts peeing. And then she yells,"I Peed in the grass." Yep my kid just peed in front of everyone in public. At least she didn't pee in the fountains.

My mom and I sit there watching them as they ran around screaming and splashing. Still awkwardly sitting on the fountains. Lila tried to investigate where the water was coming from. Which ended with water shooting her in the face. Kylie is pretending to have water powers. Everything was going pretty well. 

Kylie then decides to do her "exercises" oh my lord please help me! She gets down on all fours looking up at the sky. Her version of tricep dips looks alarmingly similar to hip thrusts. Yep! My kid is now humpping the air. My mother loses it. Laughing so hard she is crying. I explain to her what she is doing and this makes my mom laugh even harder. Please keep in mind we are in the middle of an out door mall. Now Kylie turns over and starts doing push-ups, so now she is humpping the ground. I look over at my mom who is now bright red from laughing so hard. Then Lila runs over to join her sister. Both humpping the ground. Now they both attempt to do downward facing dog. Both have their butts in the air and are shaking them. They both look like they are twerking. I explain once again to my mom what they are doing and Kylie interrupts me and yells, "My Mommy Does This All The Time!" Now my mother is a very pretty shade of purple. She is laughing so hard that she can no longer breathe. 

I tell the girls to go play in the water before we have to go. I'm trying my hardest to not get on to them for being innocent. They are just trying to play and exercise, doing an awkward version, but just trying to play. I don't want to get on to them because as adults we have perverse minds. They are so innocent but so awkward! Just imagine if these where grown women out here doing the same thing. Who would have known teaching your kids exercises would turn out so embarrassing?

 

This little boy and his mom walks up and he starts doing karate chops and kicks over the water. So now Kylie wants to show off her moves. She gets down on the ground over the water that is shooting up and starts doing her push ups. She now looks like she is humpping the water. I can't take it anymore, I stand up and yell, " Kylie, for the love of god stop!" She stops and stands up,"why mommy?" "I don't know how to explain it to you, I just want you to stop!" 

I hear another mother start laughing at me. How do you explain to a child why you don't want them to shoot water up In between their legs? 

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard and been so embarrassed at the same time. A lovely day at the fountains? I think not, but most definitely a memory for the books.